Thank you for wanting to read my story. I was born in India, and came to the United States when I was one. My parents came to this country to give my siblings and I a better life, and they have worked very hard to do just that. As much as I cherish my heritage, there were aspects of it that were challenging to navigate as a child. I grew up in a culture where reputation was highly valued. I was your classic people-pleaser, which meant that my needs, desires, and emotions were second to everyone else's in my mind.That worked for awhile, but depression set in when I was in middle school. I mastered the skill of pretending like everything was peachy - I was a social butterfly, but when I was behind close doors, I would spend hours crying - I felt so useless and incompetent.
In 2006, I met the love of my life, Stan. He was the first person in my life that I allowed into my suffering with depression and anxiety. He handled me with grace and gentleness when I was in my darkest moments, and quickly became my safe space.
We got married in 2009, and in 2012 we were beyond excited to find out that we were pregnant! Our excitement faded into grief just weeks later when we received the news that I had miscarried.
I felt that my body had failed me and that, in order to redeem myself, I had to achieve this goal of being pregnant. In 2013, we found out that I was pregnant with my son, Shane - to avoid being devastated by another unexpected loss, I prepared myself to lose another baby instead of actually having one. When Shane was born, I got hit with severe postpartum depression. I attended classes, read books, and researched to try to figure out why I was feeling so low, but I could never find answers.
I felt like nothing that I was doing was "right".
I had an anterior placenta, so I was never able to feel my baby during my pregnancy. Bonding begins in the womb, and since I missed out on that first crucial part of our relationship, I didn't experience the kind of deep connection that a mother is "supposed" to feel with her new baby. I felt broken, and I just wanted to be whole for my child. I would never hurt him, but I wanted to hurt myself. I attempted suicide many times over the years, but God would always put someone in my path to speak hope back into my life.
During my healing process, I was extended an invitation to truly care for myself for the first time in my life. I went to medical professionals for help and was told “you just need more sunlight.” Since I did not get the help I needed, my depression grew deeper and darker during my early years of motherhood. I tried my hardest to find community, but it was a struggle to find mothers who truly understood maternal mental health issues. I was overwhelmed by the lack of support for moms in all seasons of their motherhood journeys. Each time I mustered up enough courage to open up about my struggles to other moms, I was surprised that, almost every time, they would share that they were struggling too. My heart was pounding inside my chest with an all-consuming cry of desperation...
"Everyone wants to hold the baby, but who holds the Mama?"
I knew that I needed to be part of the solution, so I started a ministry in 2017 that I later named "One Mother to Another" - I started by bringing flowers to different mothers each week, and eventually added on customized care packages . For every flower or care package I would give, God would give me a huge dose of joy. Then, in 2021, my cousin lost her fight against postpartum depression and chose to end her life. I knew her pain all too well, and it broke me. It was then that I knew I needed to do even more.
I became certified as a doula in May of 2022, and I am beyond excited to put an end to the loneliness of depression and support moms full-time!
To every mother, no matter what your journey of motherhood looks like:
You are loved
You are seen
You are known
What you do matters
My story is the foundation and the heartbeat of my business, and it's still unfolding.
I am so grateful that you are here to be part of this chapter!
What is a ?
DONA.ORG defines a doula as "a trained professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to their client before, during and shortly after childbirth to help them achieve the healthiest, most satisfying experience possible."
While I have served as a birth doula in the past, my passion is to support mamas through postpartum - that is why I call myself a postpartum doula! Here's what you can expect:
I am here to be an unbiased, non-judgmental resource so you and your partner can be informed through your recovery process and through each milestone of your newborn's development. If necessary, I will help you find evidence based information about different options and strategies as you navigate parenthood!
I will be a continuous comforting presence offering reassurance and encouragement with an empathetic attitude. I will be an ear to hear, an eye to see, a hand to hold, and a shoulder to cry on as you navigates your road to recovery and into motherhood.
I will help by carrying some of the weight that you are unable to carry while you are in recovery. I will help with light household chores, newborn care while you rest, feedings, meal prepping, sibling adjustment, nesting, self care, and anything else that will help you to fully recover from childbirth both physically and emotionally.
a hhelping hhand
To learn more about doulas, check out these articles!